The Mediator
The Myers Briggs is the gold standard of personality tests. About two million people a year take it, making it arguably the most popular psychological assessment tool. It's used by educational institutions, businesses, government agencies, to assess and categorize each of their personnel into one of its 16 personality types. That the Myers Briggs company makes over $30 million in profit each year is enough to show there is at least some value in knowing oneself.
The first time I took the Myers Briggs assessment was in college, about 18 years ago. A lot has changed since then, and I’ve been curious to know where I currently sit on the personality roulette. A quick trip to 16personalities.com, a couple of clicks and I discovered that 18 years post-college, I was now a…
Mediator - someone that has an Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Prospecting personality (INFP). Okay, but what does that actually mean? Going over each trait individually gives a bit more insight into the kind of people that have them:
Introverted - Introverts tend to keep to themselves; frequent social interactions drain their emotional energy and they prefer calmer settings over high energy situations
Intuitive - The Intuitives are imaginative, open-minded, and curious, with a tendency to focus on hidden meanings and distant possibilities (are they trying to say we’re unfocused?)
Feeling - Feelers value emotional expression and sensitivity. Their call cards are empathy, social harmony, and cooperation (Peace and unity!)
Prospecting - Prospectors are adapters; improvising and tweaking things as the situation required, with a high value placed on novelty above stability (break the status quo! but delicately)
Okay, but what does this mean for me personally? My first takeaway was that my current personality type wasn’t too far off from what it was in college, where I was categorized as an ENFP. The major change appears to be that I’m more introverted now; No biggie, I thought. However, I stumbled upon something that made it quite the biggie, and triggered me ever so slightly (read; a lot). I came across an article discussing how personality types determine your earning potential; which personalities tended to earn the most, and vice versa. I’ sure you can guess where this is going…
Read em and weep boys! Yes sir, you can’t make this up. Sitting dead last in the potential earnings pool are me and my fellow Meditors. I can’t lie, my heart cratered a bit when I read that. Was I doomed to poverty on account of being an INFP? My thoughts immediately raced to the lucky suckers on the opposite end of the spectrum - the end that I wanted to be on. I figured that, by inversion, the personality type that made the most money would be the complete opposite of mine (ESTJ). I dared to look:
So not the complete opposite, but essentially so. Save for the mutual trait of Intuition, the potential highest earners were, in theory, the complete opposite of who I am. Thoughts flashed through my mind at the speed of “you’re going to be broke forever”. I went through the full spectrum of thoughts and emotions; from “maybe i did the assessment incorrectly” to “how do I change my personality type ASAP-tually?” to “Maybe I should just become a buddhist monk. Thailand doesnt look that bad, you know!”
Somehow, amidst the raging storm of thoughts about my sub-optimal personality type, coupled with the threat of future pennilessness, I managed to still my consciousness, take a deep breath and ground myself with some positive affirmations:
“I am enough”
“My personality is fine as it is”
“I accept myself for who I am”
“Woo-sah!”
Upon deeper introspection, I realized that I really didn’t have to change my personality. Perhaps I could, but that person wouldn’t truly be me. I also recognized that my personality isn’t as locked in as the INFP label might imply. So I took a closer look at my stats:
I realized that for two of the indicators (Introversion and Prospecting), I was pretty much on the edge. Meaning that on any given day, I could swing from being Intoverted to Extroverted. or from Prospecting to Judging. I always considered myself an ambivert - someone with a mix of introverted and extroverted personalities. A lot of people would label me an outright extrovert based on where they would normally encounter me (house parties and social gatherings); but being extroverted, particularly in those settings quickly drains my social battery and I tend to withdraw into quieter spaces to recover my energies through music, reading and more recently journaling.
The fact that I’m able to phase between different personalities made me feel a bit better; I wasn’t necessarily locked into the INFP mold, ergo I was less doomed to future brokeness. But I realized that even if I was, that it didn’t really matter. My goal is to live the most fulfilled life I can live, and for me that means not fighting against who I am because some study says it puts me in a lower income bracket than everybody else, but instead leveraging on the strongest aspects of my personality nd channeling them through my existing skill sets to create the best possible life for me.
I say that, but I'll be honest - the journey hasn’t been easy. The INFP personality type tells me that I’m a nice guy”. But “nice guys finish last” is an adage that reverberates in my head, not just because the saying exists, but because it’s something I’ve lived. More often than not I’ve gotten a worse deal because I haven't pushed for more beneficial terms; I’ve been swindled and I haven’t enforced justice on the perpetrators. I’m owed money I’m not sure will ever be paid. And I’ve let people influence aspects of my life where I should have exercised my autonomy instead.
I still struggle with these, but lessons learned over the years are better equipping me to deal with the aspects of my personality that might occasionally do me a disservice. I’m learning to keep the counsel of close friends that have my best interests at heart and compensate for areas in which my personality might handicap me. More importantly though, I’m doing the fortifying. Defining and exercising personal boundaries is arguably one of my biggest takeaways from my most recent - and most significant - life experiences. Whether these boundary enforcements lead to a change in my personality as they bring me into conflict with people that would otherwise just walk over me, remains to be seen.
For now, I continue to map. There are many more assessments to go; perhaps they will uncover elements of my personality or psyche that I could more easily leverage into building this yet unforeseen future of abundance. I remain optimistic, and the quest continues.